...On Personal Responsibility...

Today I crashed into a building with a truck.

This is the second time I've done this.

I've also hit a biker with my side view mirrors on two different occasions. I felt horrible, but they stayed on their bikes and continued -a- peddling.

Ok, so today we couldn't find the keys to one of our land cruisers, so I spent the greater part of the morning sitting in my room staring at the wall completely enraged and telling anyone who'd listen how pissed off I was. So we got permission to use one of the trucks here on the compound, and they "kindly" let us use an F350. An F350 is an enormous truck. I hate driving it. Also, right outside the gate, there's this huge moat they're building. It's like a 40 foot drop. So it's kinda tight getting out of the gate with this ginormous truck and a ginormous moat and mounds of dirt next to it. So yeah, I scraped the side of the truck and one of the guys here had a coniption fit. My boss came into the dining place and asked "who wrecked the truck," and I was like "huh??" Since people like to embellish, I realized what he meant, and I was like "oh yeah I scraped the side." So I hopped into the vehicle office or whatever and was like "I did it!" cuz I don't really give a shit. I got a little speech about how horrible it was, and the whole time I was thinking, "Uuh sure, people destroy vehicles here all the time and no one cares, but all of a sudden it matters."

So what's my point? My point is, I did it. I take responsibility. This doesn't seem like a huge deal, but I've been noticing that taking responsibility for ones own actions is in cheap supply these days. It seems like a pretty popular thing to blame the USA, more specifically, George Dubya Bush. I'm gonna go to Japanistan soon, and like I said before I'm sure I'm gonna hear a lot of people's opinions about geopolitics. It's kinda hard to listen to people state their opinions, because generally they're uninformed. I remember a few years ago when, if you said something that you heard on the news, someone might say "YOU SHOULDN'T BELIEVE EVERYTHING YOU HEAR ON THE NEWS!" Nowadays, all I hear are opinions spewed verbatim from what people hear from the news. People generally have no idea of a larger context. Listening to CNN and talking shit is much easier than actually trying to get a broader, better informed overall picture and do one's own analysis. Accusing me of being a "brainwashed fascist" is also easier than considering what I have to say as well.

I also wish people had to be accountable/held responsible for what they say. I remember after US Troops went through Baghdad and "hostilities ceased," Ben Afleck went public saying that "now that it's over, we should pull all our troops out." Ben Afleck has a lot of influence by virtue of the fact that society has deemed him an icon. However, when he makes statements like this, he has no responsibility or obligation to follow through with his ideas. Nothing happens like "Ok Ben, we're pullin' out the troops, and if anything bad happens, it's all your fault and you'll be held accountable for it. Furthermore, you'll be punished severely if it doesn't all go down hunky-dory like." Actors are famous for reasons other than their intellect. Let's not forget that. My best friend Brandon and I used to talk about accountability of ones spoken opinion. I don't pray and I don't believe in any God, but my thoughts are always with him and I can't wait to see him again.

As you may have heard, a Japanese man recently got kidnapped by some militants. A British woman living in Iraq for many years also got kidnapped. I don't think these people deserved to get kidnapped, anymore than someone who takes a stroll in the hood at 3am deserves to get mugged. However, I can't help but wonder what these people are thinking. Yesterday, 3 women working for the UN also got kidnapped here. People who are getting kidnapped generally travel with no security - they are completely oblivious to any danger that might be present. They don't think it will happen to them. How can people be so careless with their lives? Why would someone take a bus from Jordan to Iraq? Why would someone want to be a tourist in Iraq?!?! As people sit in their homes watching Satellite Cable TV and browsing the web, they don't seem to realize that there are people out there who will not hesitate to use them in an attempt to undermine national policy. That means you, the reader. Yes, even though you are nice/kind/good looking/generous/ambitious/have a bright future/etc, there are people in this world who would not think twice to behead you/your mom/dad/sister/brother/doggie on the internet just because. Is this the fault of George Bush? Is it the fault of US foreign policy? Get real. US foreign policy is nothing more than a convenient excuse for these sick fuckers to publicize their political agenda in their own little sociopathic ways. Not everyone has the same concept of respect for human life that most of us have. If you think that these people won't exploit that concept, you are a fool and you stand the chance of being victimized. Take Somalia for example - militiamen used women and children as spotters for their gunman. They would also place children in between themselves and US troops because they knew that US troops would hesitate to kill children. In Iraq, it was made public that the US wouldn't go after Mosques. What happened? Duh... After seeing this enough times and realizing the risks, American troops will not hesitate to start mowin mofos down and calling for fire on Mosques. If you think this makes them evil people, I suggest you enlist in the Army or Marines, join the infantry, and walk a mile in their shoes.

I'm not trying to scare anyone, I'm just trying to be as realistic as possible. Taking the Moral Highground is wonderful and all, but let's not forget that people will exploit the bejesus out of it. Before making statements like "Well I'm just against the Military" or "Bush is a terrorist," I'd like to challenge people to do something other than spew CNN headlines and cheap pamphlet rhetoric and research that which they seem to be so against and outspoken against. I've found that the most outspoken people are often times the most ill informed, and I wonder how they can be so quick to put themselves in a position to look so utterly stupid. It probably stems from a lack of exposure to people who have differing opinions - everyone they interact with shares the same opinions as they do, so no one has ever really pulled their punk card. While my opinions on here may seem somewhat one sided, I am confident in my opinions and feel that I have a good grasp on both sides of many of the issues. If I don't, then I'm a bit more hesitant to say anything. But like I've said before, this is my blog and I reserve the right to rant and rave until my heart's content. :)

Thanks for reading--

Burqa Clad Mercenaries Implicated in Sex Slave Ring

I read a good article today on my beloved Sabawoon Online about the only female detective in Kandahar. This Burqa Clad Bombshell fights crime incogneto, and gained fame when she killed 3 "would be assassins" in a shootout.

This is pretty impressive stuff. It might not seem like a huge deal to people in the USA, who always see female detectives and hot ass actresses playing highly skilled asskicking operatives on TV every night, but here this is like major progress. Talk about blending in - she's like the ultimate undercover agent.

I've been reading a lot of articles about the privatization of "troops," i,e. "mercenaries." In an article entitled "Support Our Mercenaries," the author delivers a scathing report on all the horrible things that these "mercenaries" do. I'm actually surprised that more people haven't jumped on this bandwagon, and I'm waiting for for people to create a scenario that says that soon, private companies will be dispatching armies and gaining control of stuff and generally tearing shit up. Allow me to dispell this myth before it is started.

"Private Companies" are not enormous vacuums of indepently controlled cash. They're not militias run by powerful, brutal warlords (like me). They have to get paid from somewhere, which is from the US government in some form or another. The employees of these companies also require pay/food/shelter, so if the gravy train from the US Government stops, these companies will cease to be able to function.

A huge salary is nice, but if workers of these companies think that they are being put into harm's way unnecessarily, they simply quit. I've seen this happen many times. The "employees" are [generally] former military and, in my opinion, often times more professional and experienced than your run of the mill US Military soldier, and they won't put up with it.

Being a private company, their reputation is always at stake. These companies will do anything to avoid public scrutiny of any type, and try to remain low-key and out of the media. It doesn't look good to have a bunch of your people get ambushed, or for people in the company to be implicted in any crimes. As a private company, they typically have a "Zero Tolerance" policy towards any sort of "unacceptable" behavior, and will not hesistate to put someone on a plane the next day, which I've also seen happen a few times. They don't play around - even if you are pretty much in the "right" in a questionable incident, they reserve the right to terminate you for pretty much anything they see fit. For instance, if some guy runs up with an RPG and I whack him, I'm still going home. It's just policy.

To improve quality control, large contractors will often employ smaller, more specialized sub contracting companies to come out and check out how things are going. This provides the "higher ups" who aren't on the ground with a non-biased assessment of situations, so they can get a better idea of how things are going without being worried about people sweeping things under the carpet.

I'm not saying that certain things are "acceptable under the circumstances," but we must be realistic when assessing certain bad situations. Anytime coercive force or action is used in military actions, people will get hurt. However, it is not the policy of the companies or the US Military to support torture, maiming, etc of the local populace. People who aren't in the military or working for contracting companies do stuff like that all the time, but they're blamed generally on an individual basis and not for who they're affiliated with. Why should US Military personnel or contractors be any different? (By the way, the whole "I was just following orders" thing is bullshit.) I've always found it interesting how quick people are to attribute barbaric behavior to the fact that someone was former military. For instance, if I, as a private citizen, decided to butcher someone back in the USA, I can GUARANTEE you that the newspaper headline would be something like FORMER MARINE MURDERS SAINTLY OLD GRANDMOTHER. People are more than happy to judge actions of people based on prior military service, but quick to discard any other affiliation, especially race, religion, creed, sexual orientation, etc, because for some reason society has deemed it OK.

I guess what I'm trying to say is I'd like people to be cautious with their judgements. Like I said, it's become socially acceptable to mutter comments about someone's military training contributing to some vicious behavior, but god forbid you should mutter anything about someone being gay/muslim/christian/black/ etc to simplify another action. Obviously, being in the military does get you trained up on some "barbarous behavior," but the US Military does not train sociopaths. We're not Cossacks. As someone who grew up as a military brat, I take for granted the fact that I'm not completely ignorant on military matters. However, I've found most often that the most outspoken people against the military are the people who know the least about it, and for some reason that too has become A-OK.

Just to clarify: I am saying that it is NOT OK to judge individual actions based on a larger group affiliation. I'm sure there are people mis-reading this and thinking that I'm lamenting the fact that maybe I can't call someone a "fag" because they buggered a boy. If you think that, you are stupid and I ask that you never read my blog again. All I'm asking is that people take greater care when assessing the root of actions, and not to be such simpletons and take the easier road, attributing it to some sort of sociopathic brainwashing that takes place during military bootcamp. This is no different than dismissing an action someone does because they're gay/black/a muslim, so have a care and squash that shit if you hear it. Contracting companies and the US Military do not support torture/sex slave rings as doctrine, but I guess for most people, assuming that they do is a lot easier than actually educating one's self. God forbid they should have to trade in their preconceived notions with things they wish weren't so.

More later--

Happy Birthday Dear Warlord, Happy Birthday to me!!!

Yeah, if you didn't know already, today is my birfday. The big 2-8. This is the 3rd birthday in a row I've spent out of the US of A - last year being in Tokyo, the year before that was in Seoul. I had a little birthday party last night with 3 of my South African friends/co-workers. We made the rare trip out to a Chinese restaurant just down the street. As soon as I walked in, I knew I was in familiar surroundings. Seedy Chinese-esque bars with low, red sofas and barebones tables and chairs are like a second home. Everytime I go to a place like that with just a couple of my friends, we always end up having an awesome time and being welcomed back as "regulars" if we ever make it back. (You just have to be careful who you bring, or things could go bad of course. :) ) In any case, I didn't think that I'd be spending my 28th birthday celebration in a Chinese restaurant in Kabul with three white South Africans. That's gonna be a tough one to top, but I'll try my best.

As for what I did today, well, pretty much same-ole-same-ole. I had an icecream bar for dinner, which was yummy. And I took a day off from the gym as a little birthday present. The highlight of tonight was probably taking Warlord Shots. A Warlord Shot has nothing to do with alcohol (though it should, so please think of a good shot). A Warlord shot is kinda like an Afghanistan Glamour Shot. Remember Glamour Shots? It was that place in the mall that would airbrush up your picture to look all glamorous. I remember joking with my sister about people getting their senior yearbook pictures taken there, and people actually did. They were usually the ugly girls who didn't want to be remembered as sewer beasts. (Sorry if any of you guys got them done there, but come on..) Anyway, my roommate Sam was wearing a Pakol, which is a common hat here in Afghanistan, and took a picture of himself that kind've looked Warlordish. So we took our Warlord shots and I think they turned out pretty well. I'm thinking about puting it up as the main picture on this page 'cuz I think it's funny, and by the time you read this it might just be up there. Anyway, I took it a step further and made a little wanted poster featuring Sam and Paul's Warlord shots. I recommend you right click it, save it, print it out, and put it on your wall. Here it is:


That kicks ass, doesn't it? I mean, I almost look like I could possibly run shit. Sam looks like my right hand man, you know, the guy you keep around 'cuz you go way back. He sits around and eats your food and criticizes how you do stuff, but never really contributes to the warlordery. And warlording isn't easy, believe me. Taxing roads you don't own, coercing people to vote for you, dodging human rights commissions. It's a rough life.

Other than my birthday and warlord shots, nothing really to report on. Things around here are quiet, which is good and a little un-nerving at the same time. It's almost like they're saving up for something really big. The last time they did something big was bad, and I hope nothing like that ever happens again. More later--

Talibanistan, aka Sweet Home Talibama

Surprisingly and fortunately, I don't have a whole lot of post-election madness to report. I shouldn't say "election" though, because no one has been "elected" yet. This is one of the harsh realities of having donkey based logistics. Ballot boxes being transported on donkeyback take time to get places, and they're counting all the votes by hand, so that each individual one counts. Now isn't that somethin'? I bet if the USA did that, more people would vote. But I'd better cease such simplistic and treasonous talk.

Ok, before I get off track, as far as election associated violence goes, the voting went off without a hitch. They had the little ink scandal, where ink was easily washed off, and all the other candidates said they'd refuse to recognize the winner. However, they eventually came around and said they would indeed support the winner and that everything was a-ok. Make up your minds, fellas! There was a rocket or two fired into town, but no one was hurt, and even though Timmy Taliban was talkin big like he was gonna rip shit up, nothing came of it. Don't get me wrong - the threat was by no means empty - A LOT of explosives and what not were intercepted before they could be put to use because cops were "tipped off."

I'm not a conspiracy theorist, and I think that extreme (for lack of better term) conspiracy theorists are idiots. Having opinions based on misinformation is one thing, but basing opinions off of suspicion, superstition, and internet chain mails is simply unacceptable. Another reason I think they're lame is because being a conspiracy theorist is pretty much a win-win situation. They can "theorize" something after smoking a fat blunt, and if it isn't true, no one calls them on it and tells them they're a retard, but if it is true, my how smart they look. In any case, I'm a little suspicious of these "tip offs." When Donny Rumsfeld came to Kabul, no one knew he was coming. However, the police in Kabul announced with great pride that they found 2 IEDs in Massoud Circle!!! Good on ya, boys! Look at how advanced the Afghan intelligence network is!! Maybe I'm a skeptic, but a lot of the police around here are real dirtbags, and I wouldn't put it past them to stage the discovery of IEDs and stuff like that so they can look good.

But what do I care? No one got hurt, the police and the international community can high-5 each other, and everyone's happy. No voting spots or diplomats got blown to smithereens. So everyone's a winner.

I'm not gonna say that the Taliban are "good guys" by any means, but the fact that they appear to be avoiding blowing up civilians sets my mind at ease a little bit. In Iraq, car bombers drive up to a really crowded area filled with regular Iraqis chillin, and kill like 50 people. (And that's somehow the US's fault..) The fact that they don't do that here on a daily basis does make me (and my family, I'm sure) feel a little better (knock on wood). So I've come up with a little reward/appeasement plan. It's a secret though, don't tell the Taliban about this. I propose that we create a free Talibanistan, where the Taliban can do whatever they want. Kinda like how we made Israel. Only this would be on a much smaller scale, and we wouldn't give them the most kick ass airforce ever and lots of weapons and stuff. Here's the cool part, and how it would kinda resemble Israel. Talibanistan would be located in the middle of Alabama, in an area designated as "Talibama," and would be fenced off or separated with a huge moat full of holy water and fresh water crocodiles or something. This plan is a secret because they won't actually know where it's gonna be prior to leaving, but they'll be reassured that they'll get all the holy warring they want where they're going. This would accomplish a few things:

Provide Hilljacks with a fresh new minority to oppress, and who better than the Taliban?? I mean, they could rock out to Toby Keith during their hunts! It's perfect - Amnesty International might turn a blind eye to this plan.

The Taliban can bugger each other and make horribly offensive statements based on religion and still kind've "fit in" with the local populace, who regularly do the same thing..

Since the Taliban hate women, there won't be any down there, so if the hilljacks don't wipe them out, crocodiles / piranhas / sharks or old age will eventually

We might lose some hilljacks in the process

Ok.. Yeah, this is a joke. While some people say stuff like this in all seriousness, I'm freaking joking, people. Believe it or not, some people have read a little too much into a couple of my blogs. For example, one person took the Blog immediately below this to mean "All Arabs (and Muslims) are terrorists," which is not what I was trying to convey. If I wanted to say that all Arabs and Muslims were terrorists, I would. But they're not, so I won't. Basically I came up with "Talibanistan" and "Talibama" while I was sick in bed and couldn't sleep, and I felt that I needed to include them in my blog 'cuz they were so "clev." (That's how "clev" people say "clever.")

Ok, well, I'm not as freaking clever as I thought. I'm actually really pissed off as I write this. I google'd "Talibanistan" and "Talibama" and apparently a lot of other people beat me to the punch. You can google it yourself. Shit. I'm so less creative in my own eyes. I think I needed something like that to take me down a few notches. I've been a little high and mighty lately. Aah well. The picture of the deliverance dude was kinda "clev," right???

If you feel that you (unlike me, apparently) are "clev," I invite you to come up with some lyrics to Sweet Home Talibama. Don't bother posting them if they're not uproariously funny, though. I won't be posting any cuz I don't feel I can do the song any justice. If you come up with some good lyrics, I'll talk to my Tokyo Lawyers and see about arranging permission to belt it out at karaoke. Oh wait, I don't have any legal recourse, cuz I didn't make it up. So do ur thing.

Ok, so what else is new out here... Looks like I'm gonna get a new roommate. That's right, Kabul Joe is switching compounds, and I'm kinda bummed out about it. He's the yin of my yang. The Feng of my Shui. Replacing him will be my long time friend "Jungle Sam," who has since become "AfghaniSam" because there are no jungles here and he's in Afghanistan. And I came up with "Afghanisam" before anyone else did, particularly one specific Carnie. Oh yeah, Afghanisam is a complete whackjob. Here's a sample of what today might have looked like:


Not sure what mate is? Click here. Sam drinks it. A lot.

Ok, that's all for now. I'll keep the election coverage coming as I hear it, which will probably be some time after you hear it, but because I'm here I'm somehow more "credible." ;) Thanks for reading.

Afghans are not Arabs. Afghans are not Arabs. Afghans are not Arabs.

I've been wanting to write this for a while I think. Maybe in an attempt to clarify some things, and maybe in an attempt to correct people who like making disparaging remarks about people who live in Afghanistan by referring to them as "dirty Arabs." But then again, a post like this probably wouldn't mean a lot to the type of person who would refer to anyone as a "dirty Arab," so maybe I'm wasting my time.

Ok, so let's get started. What's an Arab? Allow me to quote my favorite website, Merriam-Webster.com. This is my favorite site cuz I have a vocabulary rivaled by many Amazonian Parrots.

Main Entry: Ar·ab
Pronunciation: 'ar-&b, 'er-; dial also 'A-"rab
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English, from Latin Arabus, Arabs, from Greek Arab-, Araps
1 a : a member of the Semitic people of the Arabian peninsula b : a member of an Arabic-speaking people

Ok, so where's this crazy Arabian peninsula anyway? Here's a map:
peninsula


Now, as you can see by the map, Afghanistan is suspiciously absent. So where is Afghanistan? If you'll look in the upper right portion of the map underneath the little miles table, you'll see Iran. Afghanistan is to the east of that. (Iran is also not an Arab country, but maybe if I work there I'll make a post called "Iranimania" and post a similar blog).

Ok, so half the theory is debunked.

Next question: Do they speak Arabic in Afghanistan?
Answer: No.
Follow up question: Yeah but whenever I'm trying to enjoy a movie, some dude is screaming in Arabic over a loud speaker in the Mosque.
Answer: Dur.

Most Afghans do not speak Arabic any more than a person who grew up Catholic speaks Latin. They do, however, speak languages like Dari, Poshto, Uzbek, and some others. Arabic is once again, suspiciously absent.

OK, so my point? Just because you're Muslim and live in the middle east doesn't make you an Arab. Why am I saying this? Because I've found that a lot of people don't know the difference, and assume that Afghans are Arabs because both are associated with Islam and Terrorism. Is that offensive? If you can think of a better reason other than "being uninformed," let me know.

OK, so what's new here? Nothing really. We're on "lock down" until the first Afghanistan [free] Elections are done, which is supposed to take place tomorrow. Other than a few incidents of mischief (trying to blow up Karzai's running mate), things have actually been a lot more quiet than I would expect. I guess they have a little more than 24 hours to really start wrecking shit. So expect some post-election coverage right here. I'm curious to see what it's like to all of a sudden live in a Democratic nation. Maybe the sky will look different? The air cleaner? Public Sanitation improved? I doubt it. I bet people in the USA will be disappointed if Kerry gets elected and they're all of a sudden not better paid/happier/don't hate their jobs/thinner and that all over the world, terrorists will stop being jerks.

More later--

Is that guy wearing a fuzzy pencil case?

Hamid Karzai

No, he's not wearing a fuzzy pencil case on his head. That's Hamid Karzai's signature hat, not uncommon to see when you're cruising around Kabul. While usually only worn by old men, yesterday when I was at the Ministry of Interior I saw an androgynous midget walking around with one on. I'm not joking. (I have one, and if you want one I can pick one up for you. A hat I mean. Not an androgynous midget.)

Ok, so why am I even talking about this in the first place? That's right, folks, Afghanistan is having its first "free" elections on October 9th. Since I've been out here, a lot of people stateside have asked me how I think the elections are going to turn out, and I'll say something like "I think Karzai will win, but all I care about is that I don't get blown up." This is usually met with a response similar to "..." because they were referring to the US Election. I suppose both have a serious impact on my current life, because if Kerry gets elected, who knows if I will be able to continue a job like this making a ridiculous salary and being on "the edge of history." Sounds cool, doesn't it? The Edge of History. It would be way cooler if the "edge of history" weren't so unstable and unsanitary. And way cooler if I had coined the phrase, which I didn't. Robert Kaplan said it in his book, and as usual I'm hero worshipping. Aah well.

Either way, I can't blame people for the "..." response, or responses like "Who the christ is Karzai and why does he have a pencil bag on his head??" I'm not gonna be all high and mighty and act like an asshole when people don't know anything about Afghan politics, because it doesn't affect their [immediate] lives back stateside. I remember when I was studying in Japan back in college, and I would innocently ask a question like "...So do you guys have a President or a Prime Minister?" to one of the Swedish students. This would get me an exasperated look, followed by a statement like, "I know all about YOUR government, why don't you know about mine?" So I'd sit there and shrug apologetically, while thinking to myself, "Maybe because I'm not a goddamn cod fisherman living in the tundra, you freakish Scando. Nice parachute pants, by the way." I also like it when people are trying to look cool and worldly and say stuff like "YOU DON'T KNOW THE CAPITOL OF TAJIKISTAN? IT'S DUSHANBE YOU HAYSEED!" That's lame, but it's a reality when dealing with sophomoric, 22 year old "backpackers" who think that going to a country and eating a bunch of ecstasy makes them somehow more enlightened.

Ok, lemme get refocused here. Aah yes, the elections. I'm not gonna sit here and pretend to be some sort of authority on Afghan politics, because I'm not. I've just gotten pretty interested in this place because I live here and the outcome of things affects me directly.

So like I said, Afghanistan is having its first "free" elections, and it's somewhat complicated. One of my favorite (though somewhat not-too-pro-American) websites, Sabawoon Online, has a lot of good articles about the election. You can also see a complete list of candidates here. I like that page, because it has pictures of each of the candidates, as well as a little blurb about their ethnic affiliation and what kind of platform they run on.

After reading most of the articles about the upcoming elections, I've noticed a few issues that Afghans (or at least the authors of the articles on the site) have. Here's a few (but not all) of them:

Are ex/not so ex Warlords good candidates?

What is a "free" election? Are these elections really all that "free"?

Is Karzai a US puppet? What / where do interests lie?

I'm gonna go ahead and break these down individually, and speak on them based on my opinion because this is my blog and I'm allowed to. If at any time you feel oppressed, please close the window.

Are ex/not so ex Warlords good candidates?

History tells us that former military commanders do not necessarily make good leaders of countries. Why is this? Now, when I say "military commander," I'm not talking about some dude who was in charge of a support battalion for most of his career. I'm talking about the guys who have "been there and done that," commanded troops on the field in violent action, and taken part along with them. They are charismatic men with a presence on and off the battlefield, who inspired people to fight for them and often times die for them. While people gladly rally behind these people, sing them praises and would love to see them as a President, that doesn't necessarily mean that the skills that allowed them to rise to power as a fighting man are applicable when it comes to running a nation. To a military commander, the ends justify the means - any means that were taken to accomplish whatever mission they had to do. They are, for lack of better terms, "results oriented" or "results driven." For a sensitive position like the President of a nation, this is not necessarily the best method. Couple this with the fact that some of the candidates running for President here have been accused of crimes against humanity. The idea of having a former "warlord" who may have massacred Taliban prisoners becoming the head of a nation is, to some, a bit scary, especially under international scrutiny.

What is a "free" election? Are these elections really all that "free"?

Some of the candidates have been coming under fire because they are being said to coerce people into registering (and supporting them) by beating them. If I were a farmer and I lived in a virtual fiefdom under Candidate X, and not being outwardly supportive of him and his party meant getting the shit knocked out of me by the buttstock of an AK47, the elections might not seem all that "free". According to the article titled Afghanistan's Presidential Election: a Mockery of Democracy on Sabawoon Online by Peter Symonds, Karzai supporters have also been up to similar things:

A particularly graphic example of the methods used to coerce voters was highlighted last week. A gathering of 300 clan leaders from the Terezai tribe in Paktia province decided to throw their support behind Karzai and broadcast a radio announcement declaring: "All Terezai tribespeople should vote for Hamid Karzai... if any Terezai people vote for other candidates, the tribe will burn their houses." Karzai welcomed their support and extended an invitation to the tribal leaders to visit Kabul, brushing aside criticism of the radio broadcast, saying such warnings were just a tradition and not meant as a serious threat.

No matter what Karzai may say about the threat being "just a tradition" and "not serious," tell that to a tribesperson who's used to existing in a corrupt government. The idea of a vote being "confidential" might not mean a whole lot.

Is Karzai a US puppet? What / where do interests lie?

Is Karzai a US puppet? Yeah, I think so. Is that good? I guess it depends on who you talk to. For the USA / stability in the region / strategic interests, of course it's a good idea. For international image, I'm not sure that they could have picked a better person. Highly educated, he speaks Poshtu, Dari, Urdu, English, and French. He is a Poshtun, the largest ethnic group of Afghanistan, and comes from the Populzai clan, which has been cheerfully giving Afghanistan its Kings since 1747. Not only that, he is one helluva snappy dresser, making it into Esquire Magazine's Top 100 Best Dressed Men in the World. His running mate is Ahmad Zia Masoud, the brother of the famed Ahmad Shah Masoud, the Lion of the Panjsher, whose guerilla tactics are taught at US Military academies today, and who achieved Martyrdom when he was assassinated just before the September 11th attacks. I also heard a few months ago that Karzai was married to an American woman, but the people telling me that were a bunch of rednecks so I dismissed it as being one of many stupid things they said in a short time span. However, yesterday when I was at the Ministry of Interior, a Major in the ANA (Afghan National Army) told me that he was, in fact, married to an American. The only info I can find on his wife is that her name is Zinat (or Zenat) Karzai, shes an OB/GYN doctor who works with Afghan refugees in Pakistan, and Karzai was single until 1999. So the verdict is still out on that. Maybe she's an Afghan American? I don't know, so if you find out let me know.

So again, if he is a puppet, I would say that he's a pretty good choice for the international community. But I'm not from here, so it's not really my call.

Allow me to finish up by writing briefly on progress and success. Progress and success are two purely subjective things, so please forgive me my ethnocentricity when it comes to Afghanistan and these matters. I say this because my definition of success and progress are, to many other people, serious encroachments and violations upon traditional beliefs held near and dear to their hearts. Still, I feel that Afghanistan, while maybe not "flourishing," is progressing and being successful in [my] relative terms. I feel that success and progress can also be measured by how the stage is being set for tomorrow - hopefully we've learned a little bit from history and are mindful of what the results of our (USA/European/etc) actions and policies might look like in 5, 10, 20, 50 years from now. Obviously no one can predict that far, but again, hopefully we can learn a little bit from what history has told us and set the stage for the future. In the end, though, it ultimately comes down to the individuals playing on that stage, and I have full confidence that the Afghans be just fine.

So that's about all I have to say (on here) about the upcoming Elections. I was reading through this and I thought to myself, "If this weren't riddled with profanity, shit talking, gratuatous comments about androgynous midgets, and rather hideous organization, it might look kinda official." But let's face it, folks. I'm not official, I'm riddled with profanity, I talk shit, make comments about androgynous midgets all the time, and I'm not organized. So I appologize. But I hope you enjoy reading my blogs as much as I enjoy writing them, and I encourage you to check out Sabawoon Online for some good info. Thanks--