Terrorists feed Ice Cream to Crocodile; Crocodile Placated

Ok, I had to devote a special place on my blog to this quote because I thought it was so hysterical. I was talking to my best friend Brando who is currently in Iraq, and he cut and pasted a classic quote. In the article titled Muslim Extremists Preach Violence in Europe on Foxnews.com, you can find the following:

"We cannot tolerate a crocodile in our bedroom," said Sheik Omar Bakri. "U.S. forces in Muslim countries are crocodiles in our bedrooms. So we are not going to give them ice cream."

I kind've thought this was a joke, and that only a retard would say something like this. Then I realized that it was a quote from a muslim extremist, so my question was pretty much answered right there. It also raised some other very important questions that I spent hours and hours pondering:

What's a crocodile doing in his bedroom?

If I were a crocodile, why would I be in someone's bedroom?

If I were a crocodile in someone's bedroom, would ice cream make me happy?

Well the answer to number 3 is obvious - ice cream makes everything OK. Maybe Sheik Omar Bakri would have been more specific and powerful if he would have said, "So we are not going to give them puppies and ice cream." I'd definitely be convinced if he said that.

I also thought about the first two questions I posed, and I came up with the only possible explaination: Shiek Omar Bakri was quoting from a game of Madlibs that he played during a raging hashish binge. I've located the actual "Madlibs for Muslim Extremists" and I found the same template he used, and I've taken the liberty to put it on here so you can play too:

We cannot tolerate a(n) [animal name] in our [name of room in house]. U.S. forces in Muslim countries are [previous animal] in our [previous room name]. So we are not going to give them [tastey treat].

I came up with my own quote, and I think my message hits home far more effectively than the Sheik's:

We cannot tolerate an Emu in our shower stall. U.S. forces in Muslim countries are Emus in our shower stall. So we are not going to give them marzipan.

I thought the quote was ridiculous, but I wanted to do some research for myself regarding crocodiles and ice cream, so I looked to the ultimate source regarding crocodiles: The Crocodile Hunter! Believe it or not, I located this amazing picture and everything that I thought about the stupid quote became shockingly clear:




Just kidding. I added the ice cream myself. The quote is still among the most ridiculous ever.

Or we could take it to the next level of madness:
No Ice Cream for you, fuckers!


The only thing worse than an extremist is an extremist being extreme in the country they're "against" while enjoying the benefits of said society. Seriously guys... Don't get me started.

That's all I have for now. Enjoy the holidays!