Now on Ebay: Skidmarked Underoos for $50!
There's really only one way to describe how I'm feeling right now:
I'm not quite sure what that means, but I had to think of something. I just really wanted to put that picture on here (thanks Ron).
Ok, so yesterday I was visiting my friend down in San Diego and sitting at Starbucks reading the Newyork Times. On the second page of the newspaper, bigger'n shit, was a huge article about the foreign sex trade in Japan. I enjoyed the article so much that I had to call Ryan, cuz he's from Newyork and lived in Tokyo and I thought it oddly appropriate. Basically the article, called Japan, Easygoing Till Now, Plans Sex Traffic Crackdown, talks about the problem of forgein women being used as hookers in Japan and how the Japanese government doesn't really seem to give a shit about it. Here's some fun facts I learned from the article that, while not surprising, are nice to see in print:
The number of "Entertainer" Visas granted to Filipinas is 80,000 a year.
Holy fuckballs, I say. And they're usually Filipina hilljacks told they're gonna be singers and they end up turnin tricks. But that doesn't surprise me - I saw Marines marry these women all the time. I remember in Okinawa they'd lock them up until like 3pm-5pm when they would all mob on the internet cafe outside base and stink it up with their heinous perfume. What surprised me was EIGHTY-FUCKING-THOUSAND. That's a lot. And the government doesn't seem cued into the whole filipina hooker scene? Like hell. THEY'RE EVERYWHERE IN TOKYO. You'd have to live in an Igloo and commute in a blacked out child-molester van not to notice. So the government is now talking about reducing that to 8,000. Nice. They know it's there and they've always known it's there, cuz they all use it. "I'll be late at work tonight, honey." Suuure...
Japan is the only developed nation on the State Department's watchdog list for countries that deal in human trafficking.
Wow, that's a far cry from what most people think about Japan. Most people think it's fuji, samurai, geishas, and anime. I guess the geisha thing is the only thing that's kinda close to the mark, but most people are pretty confused about what exactly a geisha is in the first place. Obviously any country will have human trafficking and whatnot, but for it to be on the State Department's naughty list is a different matter. Santa is definitely not visiting Japan next year.
Here's a couple funny quotes that would really hurt if I were Japanese:
Japan has always taken a businesslike attitude toward the sex industry, regarding it as necessary, and not necessarily evil. The Japanese government organized Asian sex slaves for its soldiers during World War II and brothels for American soldiers during the postwar occupation.
"Damn dog why you gotta bring up old shit??" I have mixed feelings about that quote.. It's kinda like saying that it's somehow a part of their cultural identity to import women for Japanese dudes to bang cuz they have no game. Which isn't far off the mark, but I'm still not sure I agree with it. But it is kinda strange over there - their attitude about a lot of social problems kinda reminds me of when little kids cover their eyes and think you can't see them 'cuz they can't see you.
It also mentioned another instance that made me laugh really hard when I was still over there right after I got out of the Marines. I was sitting in my apartment in Tokyo very much in my underwear and very much an unemployed scumbag (see the theme of me being an unemployed scumbag on my blog?) and this came on the news:
The sex industry remains a part of the business culture, as was shown in 2003 when an Osaka company organized a three-day sex party with 500 prostitutes in Zhuhai, a city in southern China. The party infuriated the Chinese, especially because it ended on Sept. 18, the anniversary of Japan's invasion of China in 1931.
I don't know what's more funny: 200 Japanese businessmen vs 500 hookers, or the fact that they accidentally did it on the anniversary of Japan's invasion to China. Whoopsie.. Most Japanese people have absolutely no idea about anything that happened during WWII, let alone a date of an invasion. How many Americans know the date of the A-bombs? I bet there was like 1 dude in the whole group who knew but didn't tell anyone 'cuz he thought it would be funny. I had a pet salamander named Sam ("Salamander Sam") when I was 10 or so and his birthday was Sept 18th 'cuz that's when I found him. I wonder if that would outrage Chinese officials too...
And now it's time for my favorite quote of the entire article:
But Joji Imai, president of the Association of Japanese Promoters Recruiting Foreign Entertainers, said cases of prostitution were isolated. "Many of the customers who like to patronize clubs with foreign entertainers are interested in learning foreign languages or discovering foreign cultures," Mr. Imai said. "They enjoy different cultures, such as Filipinos' cheerfulness."
My response to that, on the record, is the following:
" HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA "
Oh yeah, and this:
That quote is almost as ridiculous as the whole Crocodile in the Bedroom debaucle. Isolated?!?! He must be out of his fucking mind. I bet I couldn't throw a rock from the top of the JR station in Shinjuku without hitting a "foreign" hooker in the face. Chinese too. The only thing more ubiquitous in Japan than hookers might be Starbucks. And yippy dogs. And Louis Vuitton bags... Anyway, you get my point. I like to think I've lived in Japan in most capacities available - as a student, as a Marine, as a private citizen on the local economy, as a tourist, and soon to be a GS prickski. It didn't matter what "world" I was privy to - this shit isn't isolated like Mr Dumbdumb-san said in the above quote. The lucky ones get sent near bases cuz maybe they can trick some service member to marry them so they can work in the food court or barber shop on base and talk shit cuz their husband is a "staff sergeant!" I'm sure most people go to drinky bars cuz they're interested in learning tagalog. Suuure.. I'd like to find that dude and pimpslap him. What a homo.
Funny quote #2:
Koki Kobayashi, a lawmaker in the governing Liberal Democratic Party, said the visas allowed Filipinos to earn good wages and support their families back home. "It is Japanese economic aid," he said. "Why is only Japan criticized?" he added. "I just can't help thinking that the Japanese government is targeting innocent people just because it has been told to do something by the U.S."
I didn't know whorehouses were so altruistic. I'm sure US Companies hiring illegal Mexicans are doing it for the good of the Mexicans' family. If it's for the good of the women, why do the bars they work at take their passports? And lock them up? Weird.
Hopefully I didn't come off as too judgemental on the "poor girls" who get duped into going over there. I don't really care about them. It's not my cause, nor is any cause really. But let's call a spade a spade, folks. Japan has been able to avoid international scrutiny like this because the international media is obsessed with pointing out the faults of, say, the USA. The Japanese media has (until recently, I suppose) also been a lot more considerate about airing Japan's dirty laundry. Why make "We Japanese" look bad when just across the Pacific Ocean the citizens of the U S of A are doing far more inane and degenerate things? That's much more interesting. And once they sort out their little foreigner prostitute situation, maybe they can move on to the problem of their own girls doing weird shit for the aforementioned Louis Vuitton bags. Hell, if I could get $100 for selling a pair of my underwear you can be damn sure I'd be in the market, skidmarks and all. I'd even sport some underoos for the sake of novelty. (Well, I'd do that for free if they sold them in my size.. The world would be a better place if I could get some Pac-Man underoos.)
Ok, what else is new. I'm enjoying my stay here in California - I've gotten to see all my "boys" and shit. I've been eating like a fucking T-rex at a chili cookoff. I'll put off the whole "fitness thing" until I get settled and all sedentaried up in Japan. It will be easy 'cuz I'll be responsible for making my own food, which will probably consist of eggwhites, protein shakes, and vodka. I should be out there the first week of March. Yipee! Hopefully this post stimulates some Japanophiles to write comments. There's nothing worse than a Gaijin with rose-colored glasses.
I'm not quite sure what that means, but I had to think of something. I just really wanted to put that picture on here (thanks Ron).
Ok, so yesterday I was visiting my friend down in San Diego and sitting at Starbucks reading the Newyork Times. On the second page of the newspaper, bigger'n shit, was a huge article about the foreign sex trade in Japan. I enjoyed the article so much that I had to call Ryan, cuz he's from Newyork and lived in Tokyo and I thought it oddly appropriate. Basically the article, called Japan, Easygoing Till Now, Plans Sex Traffic Crackdown, talks about the problem of forgein women being used as hookers in Japan and how the Japanese government doesn't really seem to give a shit about it. Here's some fun facts I learned from the article that, while not surprising, are nice to see in print:
Holy fuckballs, I say. And they're usually Filipina hilljacks told they're gonna be singers and they end up turnin tricks. But that doesn't surprise me - I saw Marines marry these women all the time. I remember in Okinawa they'd lock them up until like 3pm-5pm when they would all mob on the internet cafe outside base and stink it up with their heinous perfume. What surprised me was EIGHTY-FUCKING-THOUSAND. That's a lot. And the government doesn't seem cued into the whole filipina hooker scene? Like hell. THEY'RE EVERYWHERE IN TOKYO. You'd have to live in an Igloo and commute in a blacked out child-molester van not to notice. So the government is now talking about reducing that to 8,000. Nice. They know it's there and they've always known it's there, cuz they all use it. "I'll be late at work tonight, honey." Suuure...
Wow, that's a far cry from what most people think about Japan. Most people think it's fuji, samurai, geishas, and anime. I guess the geisha thing is the only thing that's kinda close to the mark, but most people are pretty confused about what exactly a geisha is in the first place. Obviously any country will have human trafficking and whatnot, but for it to be on the State Department's naughty list is a different matter. Santa is definitely not visiting Japan next year.
Here's a couple funny quotes that would really hurt if I were Japanese:
Japan has always taken a businesslike attitude toward the sex industry, regarding it as necessary, and not necessarily evil. The Japanese government organized Asian sex slaves for its soldiers during World War II and brothels for American soldiers during the postwar occupation.
"Damn dog why you gotta bring up old shit??" I have mixed feelings about that quote.. It's kinda like saying that it's somehow a part of their cultural identity to import women for Japanese dudes to bang cuz they have no game. Which isn't far off the mark, but I'm still not sure I agree with it. But it is kinda strange over there - their attitude about a lot of social problems kinda reminds me of when little kids cover their eyes and think you can't see them 'cuz they can't see you.
It also mentioned another instance that made me laugh really hard when I was still over there right after I got out of the Marines. I was sitting in my apartment in Tokyo very much in my underwear and very much an unemployed scumbag (see the theme of me being an unemployed scumbag on my blog?) and this came on the news:
The sex industry remains a part of the business culture, as was shown in 2003 when an Osaka company organized a three-day sex party with 500 prostitutes in Zhuhai, a city in southern China. The party infuriated the Chinese, especially because it ended on Sept. 18, the anniversary of Japan's invasion of China in 1931.
I don't know what's more funny: 200 Japanese businessmen vs 500 hookers, or the fact that they accidentally did it on the anniversary of Japan's invasion to China. Whoopsie.. Most Japanese people have absolutely no idea about anything that happened during WWII, let alone a date of an invasion. How many Americans know the date of the A-bombs? I bet there was like 1 dude in the whole group who knew but didn't tell anyone 'cuz he thought it would be funny. I had a pet salamander named Sam ("Salamander Sam") when I was 10 or so and his birthday was Sept 18th 'cuz that's when I found him. I wonder if that would outrage Chinese officials too...
And now it's time for my favorite quote of the entire article:
But Joji Imai, president of the Association of Japanese Promoters Recruiting Foreign Entertainers, said cases of prostitution were isolated. "Many of the customers who like to patronize clubs with foreign entertainers are interested in learning foreign languages or discovering foreign cultures," Mr. Imai said. "They enjoy different cultures, such as Filipinos' cheerfulness."
My response to that, on the record, is the following:
" HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA "
Oh yeah, and this:
That quote is almost as ridiculous as the whole Crocodile in the Bedroom debaucle. Isolated?!?! He must be out of his fucking mind. I bet I couldn't throw a rock from the top of the JR station in Shinjuku without hitting a "foreign" hooker in the face. Chinese too. The only thing more ubiquitous in Japan than hookers might be Starbucks. And yippy dogs. And Louis Vuitton bags... Anyway, you get my point. I like to think I've lived in Japan in most capacities available - as a student, as a Marine, as a private citizen on the local economy, as a tourist, and soon to be a GS prickski. It didn't matter what "world" I was privy to - this shit isn't isolated like Mr Dumbdumb-san said in the above quote. The lucky ones get sent near bases cuz maybe they can trick some service member to marry them so they can work in the food court or barber shop on base and talk shit cuz their husband is a "staff sergeant!" I'm sure most people go to drinky bars cuz they're interested in learning tagalog. Suuure.. I'd like to find that dude and pimpslap him. What a homo.
Funny quote #2:
Koki Kobayashi, a lawmaker in the governing Liberal Democratic Party, said the visas allowed Filipinos to earn good wages and support their families back home. "It is Japanese economic aid," he said. "Why is only Japan criticized?" he added. "I just can't help thinking that the Japanese government is targeting innocent people just because it has been told to do something by the U.S."
I didn't know whorehouses were so altruistic. I'm sure US Companies hiring illegal Mexicans are doing it for the good of the Mexicans' family. If it's for the good of the women, why do the bars they work at take their passports? And lock them up? Weird.
Hopefully I didn't come off as too judgemental on the "poor girls" who get duped into going over there. I don't really care about them. It's not my cause, nor is any cause really. But let's call a spade a spade, folks. Japan has been able to avoid international scrutiny like this because the international media is obsessed with pointing out the faults of, say, the USA. The Japanese media has (until recently, I suppose) also been a lot more considerate about airing Japan's dirty laundry. Why make "We Japanese" look bad when just across the Pacific Ocean the citizens of the U S of A are doing far more inane and degenerate things? That's much more interesting. And once they sort out their little foreigner prostitute situation, maybe they can move on to the problem of their own girls doing weird shit for the aforementioned Louis Vuitton bags. Hell, if I could get $100 for selling a pair of my underwear you can be damn sure I'd be in the market, skidmarks and all. I'd even sport some underoos for the sake of novelty. (Well, I'd do that for free if they sold them in my size.. The world would be a better place if I could get some Pac-Man underoos.)
Ok, what else is new. I'm enjoying my stay here in California - I've gotten to see all my "boys" and shit. I've been eating like a fucking T-rex at a chili cookoff. I'll put off the whole "fitness thing" until I get settled and all sedentaried up in Japan. It will be easy 'cuz I'll be responsible for making my own food, which will probably consist of eggwhites, protein shakes, and vodka. I should be out there the first week of March. Yipee! Hopefully this post stimulates some Japanophiles to write comments. There's nothing worse than a Gaijin with rose-colored glasses.
1 Comments:
I've forgotten all about the "Perfume" since oh i dunno about 11/03 ....and in a split second you brought the scent right back to me.....thanks dickhead.
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