I appear to have been put in my place...

Or not..

For all my efforts to try not to be an asshole on this blog, it appears that I still managed to piss people off. I guess if a pro-Taliban person stumbled onto this blog it would make sense that they wouldn't like me very much - you can see the comment posted on the post below this one or by clicking here.

I'm gonna do better than that though - I'm going to take the time to respond to the post because it was in many ways a personal attack. I'll attempt to be as objective as possible. I'm taking the time to do this because the post was well written and deserves a response....And so it begins...

Forgive me Sir,
I was just wondering, what type of society you grew up in. It appears to me, perhaps, one that was, without an imminent threat to physical life. (Mainly you and your family) Of course it is quite easy for scholarly men to sit and judge third world predicaments, but it seems to be much more difficult for them to live through these things. I have yet to see this recorded.

Ok, here the writer builds credibility and establishes himself (as in other parts of the post) as someone who has lived in an oppressive regime, when I clearly have not. That's all well and good, but credibility written on toilet paper still ends up in the shitter - I don't know who this guy is, so allow me to be skeptical. I'll continue on this note later.

As you may well know, prior to the Taliban “taking office” if you will, we had a very complex and chaotic scheme developing here. There were many tribes claiming to own this particular province, and different tribes claiming to be superior to this and that. However, once the Taliban came to power, it gave people a sense of unity, and as you well know, it created order where there once was not. Another important fact, that is not much quoted, is of the Taliban’s ability to almost demolish the opium production. As everyone knows, thanks to recent news reports, Afghanistan is the world’s largest producer of opium, which subsequently makes it the largest producer of heroin.

[portion omitted for the sake of brevity]

I say thank (who ever) for the Taliban. They came, they saw, they organized. Unfortunately, they were not visionaries, and they did not see the capitalist coming. Of course, I’m sure there are many of them now, wishing they might have supported a different procedure, as they find them selves surrounded by infidels and the likes, coming to bring peace (sex, tobacco, alcohol, Americanism) to their country.

Refer to my post entitled Who the fuck is Mussolini?. Your sense of unity came at a huge price. If indeed you did live in Afghanistan when the Taliban rolled in, you celebrated your new found "order" as you turned your head on public executions, beatings, and gang rapes. If you're OK with that, just say so - don't pretend that it's the lesser evil when compared to Coca-Cola and Americana. They were not "visionaries" because they couldn't see past their own sociopathic ways. They didn't want to be visionaries, because to them murdering women and beating up old men was way more convenient to their own sadisitic values.

Afghans smoke like chimneys and always try to get us to pick them up some booze at the various markets that they are not allowed access to. Most of them do not have huge beards. Is this because of American influence? I think not.

We have to ask ourselves, who are these men that believe so much in their religion, they are willing to sacrifice their life. "Oh, them, they’re just fucking terrorist man, fucking Satan." Really? The man who prays five times a day, the man who covers his wife because he understands human nature is as it is, and in order to prevent another man from being distracted with physical lust, sees this as the best method to protecting a belief.

Oh please. You can look at suicide bombers and the like as revolutionaries and people totally devoted to their cause, but there have been plenty of people devoted to their cause who didn't see fit to blow themselves up along with 50 other people. See them for what they are - people who have been manipulated into the tools of other "influential" people (right here on Earth) to carry out their own personal agendas. People who die for their cause and become "martyrs" are few and far between, and in doing so they totally abandon the people left behind, all because they feel like they're making some sort of statement and some clown tells them how wonderfully they'll be remembered. People who blow themselves and children up for whatever cause don't impress me. People who stick around and try to improve things do.

And until you realize that women can contribute more to society than making babies and cleaning the house, your society will always be at a disadvantage.

I must say, who are you, to tell me, or to praise something I disagree with? You live in a world based on post cold war capitalist brain washing. To buy a house, and have a car, and send your kids to college. To grow up in a society that promotes freedom of expression and self righteousness; Democratic, if you will. And why is this best for us? Why should we follow your path? There is no answer my friend. I have been born into a different world. I see America as one big false hood. "Yes we are Believers in His name, and god damn you, we will strike, and we will win, in the name of freedom. Jenny, turn on that T.V., and may god bless us with his wisdom."

Who am I to tell you or to praise something you don't agree with? I'm no one, man. This is a read-at-your-own-risk blog, and I don't remember forcing anyone to read it. In my regime, I don't strap a car battery to someone's genitalia and demand acquiescence to my opinion.

And yes, of course I love my family and my brothers. I would like to see them study or do what they will. What I do not want to see happen to them is that they become materialistic and begin to feel inferior, because they don’t have this or that. Please, give me an answer, tell me, “oh, well, that’s just part of being free.” I say No! No it’s not. We will not become slaves to a capitalist regime. There is another side of life. Discipline and Devotion. Why is that wrong?

I totally agree with you, and discipline and devotion are not outside the scope of what you refer to as "democracy." I just wonder how people can justify beating, raping, and murdering people who haven't met the same "level" of discipline and devotion that they feel they have. Doesn't that seem a little contradictory to you? Is that how you deal with social problems? Murdering people in soccer stadiums? Where is it written that someone should be hospitalized if they take a sip of water during Ramadan? Or smoke a cigarette?

Remember, "freedom of" is also "freedom from." If someone really wants "freedom from" Ramadan to be naughty and take a sip of water, that's for them as an individual to deal with, and whatever family issues might come of it too, I suppose. But I do not feel that it is society's job to murder/beat people for such infractions. Maybe you feel it is, and if so I invite you to go to Kabul right now as a one man punishing team and beat up people smoking cigarettes. See what happens. Or are you not so strong in your convictions? I guess it's easier when you have a tank behind you.

As for being materialistic, I guess internet access and whatnot is not included in that? Materialism = bad, Internet = OK? As long as if suits your needs and fits into your plan?

Sorry, but, I am not your average ignorant peasant. I don’t agree with extremism, but what I seem to hate more is righteous prosperity. The Russians were mean man, I'll never say they should have been here, but, what the Americans bring is far more dangerous. Yes, thank you for liberating, but, please sir, understand, not every country is fit for your Democracy.

Indeed you aren't a peasant, and at the beginning you mentioned that you have yet to see a record of scholars living through "third world predicaments," which of course is preposterous. Taking into consideration all that you've stated in your post, if I am to assume that you are not a complete phony, I can only assume that you were, in whatever capacity, someone's lapdog. You are a coward and are fine with sitting back and watching people being raped and murdered, while you enjoy whatever tiny piece of "freedom" that brings you, because you are scared and, like all lapdogs, powerless and constantly have your face buried in your master's lap. But to each his own...

I'll give you the benefit of the doubt though - you're probably just someone playing devil's advocate or at best, you were hiding in Pakistan during the Taliban regime, and there's nothing wrong with that. Far better than being a Taliban lackey, but don't use the suffering of others to base your shakey credibility on. That's low.

And for a reminder on what the Russians "brought," you can check out some of their contributions to Afghan society by reading my blog entitled, "Americans Suck, Bring Back the Ruskies." So again, spare me the dimestore idealism.

I'd like to nip some counter arguments you might have in the bud. While you may site my blog entitled "Talibanistan, aka Sweet Home Talibama," I mentioned a disclaimer at the end of it. While I think the loss of human life is tragic in any instance, I am a realist and realize that it will happen. Is loss of life incurred during a War somehow less acceptable than loss of life incurred during an oppressive regime? Can we qualify the loss of life in such simple terms? These are all questions that we all need to ponder, and I don't think there is a simple answer. Furthermore, I urge everyone to beware of the person who blurts out an answer (any answer) without thinking about it.

Thanks as always for reading.

...An endorsement?

After I'd been in Afghanistan for a bit, my roommate at the time Joe gave me a book to read called The Kite Runner. You can check out the site for the book by clicking here.

Sometimes you are given a book by someone at a certain point that affects you in ways that you didn't think possible. Sure, this sounds overly dramatic, and maybe it is, but I'd like to take this opportunity to urge each and every person who stumbles upon my blog to go to amazon.com and purchase this book, by clicking here. I've already bought and sent this book to 2 or 3 people, and while I would like to send a copy of it to every person I know on the planet, I don't think I have the resources to do so, so I guess I'll need some help with this one. The 20 bucks or so you'll spend on this book will be more than worth your time. (Hmm, that kinda sounded Sally Struthers-ish didn't it??)

Aside from the fact that it is an incredible novel, the author seems like a really good guy, which is more important to me than anything. If I thought he was a jerk, I wouldn't be giving him my seal of approval (for what it's worth). He actually replied to an email that I sent him, which goes a long way in my book.

In any case, the book is awesome and it will give you an idea, should you care, of a lot of what I see on a day-to-day basis while I'm in Kabul. Obviously I'm biased because I live and work there, but I think that everyone should read this book so they can understand what the human face of Afghanistan looks like. Books like this must be written and read by everyone, lest we forget the price we pay by "turning a blind eye"... I guess it'll make more sense on a few different levels when you've read the book.

Thanks for taking the time to read this, and again, I urge you to check this book out. It is one of those books that will stay with you forever.

N-bomb Beatdowns, aka "Words that Hurt" like a mofo

Ok, so I think I've experienced a few cool things on my 28 years on the planet. I've seen a space shuttle launch, I've flown business class a few times, parachuted and whatnot. And while these things are all quite exciting, there are few things that I can see that can make me jump up and down and clap my hands with glee. Allow me to write about something I saw the other night that made me just do that - the second time I've witnessed it - both times were in Japan.

Getting in touch with your Inner Klansman

I never really met someone's inner klansman until I joined the Marines. I mean, maybe I did, but they weren't typically people that I worked with or interacted with or, in some cases, respected as people. I don't think that being in the military really correlates with a high amount of racists - maybe the typical person who joins the Marines is just a little more outspoken / doesn't really give a shit if someone thinks they're a bigot. In any case, alcohol + rap videos will definitely bring out someone's inner klansman, regardless of their socio-economic class/education level. I'm not saying everyone has an inner klansman, cuz I certainly don't, but you'd be surprised at what people will utter while intoxicated.

Droppin' N-Bombs

We used to refer to it as "dropping an N bomb" when someone would say the N word. That's right, the N word. If you still don't know what I'm talking about after reading the above paragraph, you're probably a little thick, but I'm not gonna spell it out for you. We call it "dropping an N bomb" for obvious reasons, i,e. what tends to happen after such a word is spoken.

N-bomb beatdowns - a personal history

Here's where I get to the meat and potatoes of this posting. An N-bomb beat down is what follows when someone carelessly starts dropping N-bombs. The first time I witnessed an N-bomb beatdown was when I was in Okinawa. I was drinking with my team leader, Daryl, who for some reason is a giant douchebag magnet. When he goes to a bar, the biggest douchebag within a mile radius comes up and wants to be pals. It's kinda weird cuz Daryl, while sometimes a douchebag, especially when drunk, isn't an idiot. Anyway, so the biggest douchebag in Kinville comes up to Daryl and starts takling to him. We were in a bar called Bounds, which was rap/hip-hop, and as a result tended to attract the clientelle associated with that kind of music, i,e. a lot of black guys. I enjoyed the bar because I was friends with the owner, the bartenders, and there was a fight there every single night. Without fail. So anyway, megadouchebag-guy is talking to Daryl and I'm only kinda half paying attention, and I start noticing that the guy is droppin a lot of N-bombs. Like A LOT. So I turned around to make it clear that I had nothing to do with the guy. Daryl was putting up with it for some reason - maybe he just didn't wanna be rude. So a friend of ours named Jackson comes up and asks Daryl, "Hey, are you with this guy?" and Daryl says, "No, why?" and Jackson says "Cuz he's about to get beat down.." So douchebagman goes outside for some reason, and like 10 black guys follow him out. Before he could explain himself he was unconscious in the middle of the street, and the group that did the damage came back in and returned to drinking.

So that was the first time I saw it. The second time was the other night. This one was actually a lot more funny because I don't think the guy was really a raging racist like the dude in Okinawa. This guy was looking for a reaction, and he got waaaay more than he bargained for. So I was drinking at Pure, which is an all you can drink place that I used to go to a lot when I lived in Tokyostan. I noticed this fat dude earlier in the night, and also noticed that he was REALLY shitfaced. So later I'm standing at the bar and the bouncers are trying to get him to leave, and he won't. The bouncers impressed me all night long with their patience for this guy - they really put up with a lot of shit from him. Anyway, they finally get him out, and about 30 minutes later I decide that it's time to enjoy my favorite Japanese cuisine - convenience store sandwiches. So I cruise outside and the fat guy is causing trouble outside. I walk past, get my sandwiches, and stand there watching the action unfold. Apparently this guy got kicked out cuz he was grabbin on girls. Pure doesnt put up with that, because if girls are afraid to come there, then guys won't come either (duh). They kinda have a lot on their plate because since its all you can drink, a lot of foreigners come there and get horribly shitfaced, so it's a deliate balance. Anyway, there's a camera outside the bar that plays a live image to the police station just down the street, so the bouncers were being VERY careful, just trying to usher this guy away. The guy didn't want to leave, and kept screaming for them to "produce a witness." Yeah, this guy was British. So he and the manager scuffle a little bit, but the manager refrains from kicking teh bejesus out of this guy. Again, I was struck by how patient the bouncers were because they could have, by all rights, broken this guys arms loong before. So finally he's had enough, so he makes his closing statement, which was something like "I'll take you and you and you on any day!" and then he said something about a "nigger sandwich." I don't quite know what this is, though I could probably speculate, and don't quite know why he said it, but what happened after that was VERY fast. The bouncers were taking a VERY non-aggressive posture with this guy from the get go, but as soon as he said that, just as someone said "Oh, you done fucked up now," a white bouncer and a black bouncer sprinted at him, pushed him into a recessed area, and beat the absolute dogshit out of this guy. It was easily the quickest I've seen people go from really passive to super agressive and violent. At this point I was eating kimchi out of a plastic box and giggled to myself like a little kid. Mr N-bomb Sandwich laid on the ground for quite a while before he got up, and that reaction seemed acceptable enough because by the time he managed to get up and walk away he did it without so much as a backward glance.

I like it when people say "it's just a word, they use it so I can use it." Well, I wish I had a video camera with me. Something told me he was going to resort to it, because he REALLY wanted a reaction from these guys, which is why I stuck around. Anyone who doesn't think that "words can hurt" should witness an N-bomb beatdown, or better yet, be on the business end of one, to see just how bad they can hurt, and may sometimes result in a person laying in a puddle of their own piss and shit in an alley in Shibuya... :)

So yeah, the Adventures continue, even if they're in a different context. I'm gonna go to Osaka tomorrow so maybe I'll have more adventures to report on from there. Take care--

Live from Tokyostan.....................

Well, the reason I haven't really written anything is because right now I'm in Japanistan... I came here about 5 days ago, and it's been very nice.

A lot of people ask me "Why Japan?" Well, I'm sure people have their own theories, but I think that what it comes down to is that fact that most of the best memories I've ever had in my (short) adult life have been here. Japan was the first place I was really away from my parents during my year abroad here. Sure, I didn't live at home during college but my parents lived in the same town so I'd usually go home on the weekends and do laundry and whatnot. The time I spent here when I was in Okinawastan was also incredible - to be able to see that side of Japanese (if you wanna call it Japanese - I'm sure some people would take offense to that) culture after living on mainland was eye opening and, well, just awesome. And then when I got out of the Marines, living in Tokyo was wicked. So I think I've "existed" in this country on more levels than most people can say - I've studied here as an exchange student, I was stationed here in the Marines, I lived/worked here (however briefly) in the local economy, and now I'm just ch-ch-ch-chillin here for a short while.... Now if I can score a job as a Civilian contractor on a base here using Japanese, that would be the shiz-nit. Like a culmination of everything. :)

Another obvious reason is that it's so horribly safe here. I'm confident that I can walk pretty much anywhere at any time and not worry about getting rolled by a gang or something. I stayed the first few nights in Kabukicho, which is supposedly teaming with Chinese gangs and Yakuza. But they leave you alone if you're not doing anything (for the most part), so it isn't really a big deal. I used to go running when I lived here last year at like 1am and 2am usually, and I was surprised at how many women I'd see in the middle of nowhere walking by themselves. Not a care in the world. It's kind've funny because they're more paranoid in the really crowded areas like Shibuya and Shinjuku because they're always getting harrassed by guys asking them to work at massage parlors or snacks or sell them their underwear or whatever, but walking alone in rather desolate places at 2am is A-OK.

So what have I been up to? As you can probably guess, I hit the ground running... The first night I got here I met up with Ryan (aka NewyorkerinTokyo) and we went to Roppongi. It was kinda like an obligatory thing - I mean, if you haven't been out drinking to a party spot in like 7 months, you gotta make it Roppongi. By the end of the night I was so completely shitfaced that I didn't really know where I was. Ryan kept asking me if I was OK cuz I wasn't saying anything, but when I'm that drunk the little voice inside my head reminds me that, at that point, it's probably better not to say anything at all. In any language. Cuz it just doesn't work. I still managed to spank him and his girlfriend at darts. I think. I can't remember. I do remember the little voice in my head (I bring up the little voice - it's that voice that, for some reason, no matter how drunk you are, is still completely clear and competent, even if the rest of your brain totally ignores it. Does everyone have it? I dunno..) Anyway, I remember the voice in my head expressing surprise and glee at how well I was doing. Especially the first game, when we were playing cricket and I had yet to fill the bullseye and Ryan's girlfriend thought shed distract me by grabbing me when I threw the dart. Bullseye baby, right in the center. Nice try, your feminine wiles are useless!!!!!!!! I think it was the "lowest score wins" version of cricket, so maybe I lost.. I dunno. We all know who the true winner was, though. That's right, Ryan's girlfriend. The first girl to have the privledge of touching me since I've come back. hehe

Another thing I've been doing a lot of is walking around. Just strolling. That's something else I really associate with Japan, because I like to walk around and explore shit. I did it all the time when I was a student, partially because I hated going back to my host family's house and partially cuz I simply enjoy hoofin it from place to place. I guess I didn't stroll around too much when I was in Okinawa, as a certain friend of mine will certainly attest to. I don't know what the deal was - probably because he would get up too early to walk somewhere and I was too hung over.

So that's what I've been up to. Drinking in crowded bars (only the first 2 days really, but the weekend is coming up!) and walking around. Meeting friends, hanging out, and enjoying the things that we all so very much take for granted. Being around people in a crowded bar or area, especially in Japan, actually makes me happy. Here is a country where a majority of the people aren't really worried about anything too much except making sure they make their train or feed their dog. When there's a loud noise people don't crouch. They generally don't like President Bush because they're "anti-war" here, but the war is very very far off and few people are really touched by it. Most people probably couldn't find Iraq or Afghanistan on a map. A lot of people refer to the Japanese people as "heiwa-boke," which I may have mentioned before, means something like "peace dumb" or, uuh, maybe something like "dumbed by peace." A lot of people criticize this place for being so out of touch with the violence and chaos that lies just an 11 hour or so plane ride from here, but I don't think that's such a bad thing. I only wish that they were a little more aware of the amount of death, violence, and sacrifice that was made to create this society where having to wait for the next train seems like a really big deal...

More later. I'm gonna go eat some food.