Friday, August 13, 2004

Who the fuck is Mussolini?

Well, I'll get to the title of this page in a moment.

I know I didn't write for like a month, and then I wrote the other day, but I have some good information. 2 reasons: 1: I watched Fahrenheit 911. 2: Retarded statements aren't limited to Michael Moore and white trash. High level execs can say stupid shit too.

So today, we're sitting at the BBQ we have here on Friday nights. It is, quite possibly, the most depressing BBQ in the world. Appropriate, being that this is Afghanistan, but I've been to some raging BBQs here. Anyway, this company comes out and actually puts together a really nice spread. They have dudes who work for the company that does the BBQ (and in our little chow hall) in these little butler-esque outfits, and they take your plate away when your done, all the nice stuff. So why is it a shitty BBQ? I'll tell you why. The "bigwigs" of the programs show up. The asshole level and fun level are in direct proportion to one another; the more assholes show up, the less fun it is. It's not completely without rewards, though. When they show up sometimes their little guard detail guys show up and stand on the fringes of the BBQ and maddog everyone. By the way, it's a secure compound. Don't tell them that, they'd have to pull their tongue out of their boss's anus long enough to look around and see how goddamn stupid they look.

I digress.

So we're sitting there, and the second in command shows up. I'm not gonna name any names; suffice it to call him "Sgt Maj" (cuz that's what people (me not included) call him.) Anyway, we were sitting there noticing how many kites were flying around. They like kites here. Apparently the Taliban didn't let them fly kites, so now that the Taliban is gone, they fly kites. Simple pleasures, right? Anywho, one of the guys was explaining why they fly kites, and the Sgt Maj pipes up in his "I'm gonna run my mouth cuz I'm used to having 2000 people who don't have any choice but to listen to me" voice and says, "Well, the Taliban had a lot of contributions too. Like low crime."

Woe..

I was dumbfounded. Yeah, I guess they did have low crime rates. I guess that's what happens when you're an oppressive regime and like holding public executions. Turning soccer stadiums into live fire ranges with human targets and slitting people's throats in public, stuff like that. Apparently crimes against humanity is a better alternative to stealing apples and loaves of bread. So, after my sphincter relaxed (cuz I about shit myself) I said, "Well, Mussolini made the trains run on time." And yeah. He looked at me like "Who the fuck is Mussolini?" Or maybe it was more like, "Mussolini was a train conductor? I thought he was the guy on the Chef Boy'r'Dee's can." I dunno. I get those expressions mixed up sometimes.

Good ole Timmy Taliban and Mussolini. World contributors.

Ok, on to the next point:

Michael Moore is obese.

Moving on.

So I watched his documentary. I'm not gonna say it was with an open mind, cuz it wasnt. I'd heard some stuff about it before. The title of the movie irritated me too, cuz I read Fahrenheit 451 in middle school and I liked it. Maybe we can use it as a little hickometer though: "If you don't know what the title of this movie is referencing, you will probably think it's really informative."

Anyway, quite a propaganda stunt, I suppose. Now, the obvious response to many mouth breathers would be, "WELL WE WERE LIED TO." Yeah, we were. We all know it, and I think at some level we all kinda feel stupid about it. Or disappointed at least. In any case, one distortion of facts doesn't cancel out the other.(- + - = +) Put away your Algebra books, people, cuz I know that's how most people think. Luckily, I was fortunate enough to be born completely inept at math, so I can see past such conditioning.

I resent his rhetoric in the movie. I resent how he portrays the military, and I resent the fact that he runs around Capitol Hill asking government people if they would "send" their children off to Iraq. Newsflash, fuckstick: Parents don't send their children to the military. While he spent a good amount of time showcasing a woman who told her kids from day 1 that the military was a great thing, believe it or not, most parents have a shitfit when their kids join the military. A parent doesn't "send" their kid off to the military anymore than a parent "sends" their kid to vote for who they (the parents) want them to vote for. Age 18. Magic number. Take responsibility for your actions.

The images of grieving parents and wounded American soldiers has an effect on me and most of the people I know, so watching it being used to forward his little agenda (whatever that may be - probably just to make more money so he can eat more cheeseburgers) was a little tough to swallow. I didn't spend that much time in the military - just 5 years. But I joined. And I'm not going to begrudge anyone their choice NOT to join, or their reservations about "sending" their kids to join. That's what's wonderful about America. You don't have to join. An obese douche (who was never in the military) running around trying to guilt trip public servants about not "sending" their children to the military is totally inappropriate. As much as he would like to run around and pretend like he's doing us a huge service by "informing" us on things that are totally obvious to anyone that doesn't live in an igloo, let's face it: He has to feed himself. And from the looks of it, he's doing more than OK.

I guess there are other things in the movie that bothered me, but I don't really feel like mentioning them all. Maybe it's cuz I was in the military (and he wasn't) and my best friend is bound for Iraq I get a little irritated at these media whores.

The Columbine movie was OK - Michael Moore is a card carrying member of the NRA and supports gun totin' and all that good stuff. He has some credibility in that arena. But the military is one gun club he was never a member of, and in my opinion has no right to be misrepresenting the military as a whole.

Well, that's all for now I guess.. More later

3 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Michael Moore is a FaT FUCKING SCUMBAG! word
~g

9:29 PM  
Blogger Joe said...

One thing about your commentary, as eloquent as it was. While I disagree completely with the presentation, Mike's hounding of Congressional figures served to illustrate a point. The people who voted for this war chose to "send" the sons and daughters of others into harm's way. I think Mike might have been trying to say that these decision-makers should be more aware of the sacrifice that they are forcing on other families. I know that in the end most of us in the military signed up because we wanted to go to war, no matter what lies we told our families. We should, and do, take responsibility for our actions and decisions. However, those who send us of to war should be more aware of the pain they cause to our loved ones at home. Perhaps that was the point.

10:18 PM  
Blogger Paul said...

Dear Communist Joe,
I'll deal with you later.

12:32 PM  

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